Day Something... I'll do the math later.

OK! I'm back! Finally! I do apologize for the long absence. With all that has been going on the past few weeks I've been a lousy... er... non-existent blogger. I'm hoping things are back on track now and I can keep them that way.

So have I behaved all this time...

Not really. I had a complete melt down in which I consumed every high calorie food I cold get my hands on. I drank Coke. Not just ONE coke, but several. Which, in my humble opinion, is one of the worst things I could do. Plus, it now means that I'm battling that massive withdraw again.

I also downed chocolate, and pizza, and hot dogs, and chicken wings. It was bad... really bad.

I really don't know why I did this to myself. I knew it wasn't going to make me feel better. Realistically I just sat there in my pile of food containers and wrappers and coke bottles and hated myself.

I'm sure I've probably regained everything that I had lost, but I'm to terrified to get on the scale and see just what the damage has been. I have daily arguments with an inanimate object (aka: my scale) about how it can't make me look. It's really quite sad, and I'm beginning to think I need help. Haha.

My exercise routine has been pretty sad too. I did pop onto YouTube a couple of times and pull up a quick fifteen minute workout here and there and complete it. But I spent more time scouring through the workouts to find one that didn't look “challenging”. Kinda defeats the purpose if you just pick the easiest exercise you can find and do it.

So yesterday, I decided that in order to make-up for being a fat slob I really needed an exercise that was going to kick my butt. Jillian Michael's to the rescue. Cardio Kickboxing to be exact.

I literally thought I was going to die at multiple spots. However, every time I was just about ready to lay down and drown myself in the growing pool of sweat, this would happen:

HOLY SHIT! It's like she KNEW! It was creepy, and I was honestly AFRAID to stop. All I could think of was a sadistic Jillian Micheal’s appearing in my living room and forcing me to do 6 hours of some extreme ass exercise because I stopped when she said not to. However, this is why I love Jillian. She pushes people past their comfort zone and shows them just how strong they are. The accomplishment I felt when I did that last rep and completed the cool down was insane. I mean, I've had plenty of accomplishments in my time. I'm smart, talented, and have plenty going for me under all this flab, but it wasn't the same as knowing my fat ass body wasn't going to crap out when Jillian demanded I jump an imaginary rope until I felt like my lungs were going to explode. It's good to know.

On a bright note, my binge pretty much killed ALL the fatty food out of the house, and I'm left with celery and apples, and other low fat snacks. So, at least I don't have to get rid of all of it again. Could be worse.

I now have to focus on surviving the holiday season. That's gonna be tough. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and my family throws down for Thanksgiving, big time. It's insane, and no where near healthy. I also can't forgo the food without offending them, so I have to eat it. For a normal person, this shouldn't be a big thing. However, in the past, I've taken it as an opportunity to disengage from my diet for 2 months and then forget to start over. I can't do that this year. I've got to be balanced. I have got to be good til Thanksgiving, allow myself to indulge for one day, and then be good after Thanksgiving. It sounds so simplistic written out on here, but trust me, it isn't. I'm gonna need a lot of help. In fact, I may need to be held prisoner in a room and rationed healthy foods for a few days afterward. It's that bad.

I'm also thinking that I should start a list of goals, big and small. Just stuff I want to be able to do without falling over dead as I shed all the extra weight, or even just some things that I want to feel comfortable and confident doing (like taking a photograph without immediately wanting it destroyed). So look for that in an upcoming post.

Finally, I'm looking for some challenges, some of those small monthly challenges that people seem to get involved in on other blogs. It seems like it would be a good way to stay focused and make one small change each month. So, if you hear of any that look fun please let me know about them. I'm not looking to run a marathon or anything crazy, just some small stuff.

Update

Just a quick update to let everyone know that I haven't stopped this blog, and that I haven't forgotten about you.  Between being sick, starting a new job, and my brother being in the hospital things have been a little hectic.

My cold is finally subsiding, the job is becoming less "crazy", and my brother is doing much better than he was.  Keep him in your prayer's though.  He has been battling intense migraines his entire life, and the last one landed him in the hospital, again.  He had a seizure early yesterday morning, and we aren't sure what caused it.  It did seem to break the migraine though.  Keep your thoughts and prayers with him and hope that they can figure out a way to manage the migraines and prevent the seizures. 

Lots of love guys!  See you soon!

Daily Cartoon: 10/25

Days 7 & 8: Don't Yoga and Sneeze

I'm pretty sure this cold is out to kill me. My head feels like my brain dissolved and turned into snot and is slowly seeping out my nose. My eyes won't stop watering so I look like I'm always in a fit of tears. My ears are all stopped up, so I misunderstand what people are telling me, a lot. The cashier at the gas station asked me if I paid at the pump and I thought she called me a heffalump. I was kind of offended and looked at her like I was going to suck out her skinny little soul, and then she said it again, only this time I realized what she was ACTUALLY freaking saying. So yeah... I tried to say “oh sorry, yes.” and instead this happened:

And evidently, most people don't speak squeak. She just looked at me like I was crazy as I stood there trying to squeak out “YES, AT PUMP”.

I did try to get some exercise yesterday. I decided maybe a few relaxing yoga poses would be nice. Hint: Don't do yoga while you are sneezing!

It started like this:

and then went like this:

and then to this:

then I sneezed which resulted in this:

I somehow didn't break my nose, but my head and face didn't feel so hot for quite some time.

I started my new job yesterday (YAY!) but since I'm seriously ill and I spend at least 6 hours on the phone for training, I'm constantly trying to squeak my way into getting someone to understand my question or completely misunderstanding instructions thanks to my stopped up ears. The past two days have essentially looked like this:

Anyway. On a diet related note, I've been eating healthy, which I'm really proud of considering how icky I feel. It's tough to get up and cook a meal when you are slowly being killed by a mucus blob. But, I've done it, and I'm glad to say that my calorie counts have been right on target the past few days. YAY!

So, if anyone has some suggestions on a good HEALTHY homemade chicken noodle soup or an insanely fast cure for a killer cold, please feel free to share!

Daily Cartoon: 10/23/12

Consider yourself warned

Daily Cartoon 10/22

Day 6: Diet + Sick = One Sad Jacquie

Okay. Dieting sucks. However, being sick and dieting sucks even more.

I woke up with some slight congestion yesterday, and by today it had mutated into an all consuming mucus blob that was waging war on my head and chest. Most of the morning I spent looking something like this:

However, if it hadn't been for Adam, my boyfriend (and superhero at the moment) showing up at my door with ammunition from CVS before he went to work:

I probably would have ended up dead in a pile of Kleenex.

I tried to exercise, but just ended up coughing uncontrollably and almost falling off the exercise bike.

I'm not sure if it was lack of oxygen or an overload of mucus, but most of the day is pretty cloudy. I do know that at some point I gathered up what little cash I could find and SOME HOW ended up at the grocery store and left with 6 cans of random soup. Somehow I did end up with some chicken noodle, and that's what I lived on today. Apparently, even though I was delirious I was still calorie conscious, because the cans say they only have 100 calories per serving. I don't remember if the chicken noodle soup was any good, I don't even really remember cooking it and eating it, but apparently at some point I did.

So, today I really didn't accomplish much. I vegged out in front of the TV watching “Once Upon a Time” all day and apparently eating soup.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

And Adam, again, THANK YOU for the cold meds, cough drops, and Diet Dr. Pepper. I appreciate it more than you know! :)