Days 7 & 8: Don't Yoga and Sneeze

I'm pretty sure this cold is out to kill me. My head feels like my brain dissolved and turned into snot and is slowly seeping out my nose. My eyes won't stop watering so I look like I'm always in a fit of tears. My ears are all stopped up, so I misunderstand what people are telling me, a lot. The cashier at the gas station asked me if I paid at the pump and I thought she called me a heffalump. I was kind of offended and looked at her like I was going to suck out her skinny little soul, and then she said it again, only this time I realized what she was ACTUALLY freaking saying. So yeah... I tried to say “oh sorry, yes.” and instead this happened:

And evidently, most people don't speak squeak. She just looked at me like I was crazy as I stood there trying to squeak out “YES, AT PUMP”.

I did try to get some exercise yesterday. I decided maybe a few relaxing yoga poses would be nice. Hint: Don't do yoga while you are sneezing!

It started like this:

and then went like this:

and then to this:

then I sneezed which resulted in this:

I somehow didn't break my nose, but my head and face didn't feel so hot for quite some time.

I started my new job yesterday (YAY!) but since I'm seriously ill and I spend at least 6 hours on the phone for training, I'm constantly trying to squeak my way into getting someone to understand my question or completely misunderstanding instructions thanks to my stopped up ears. The past two days have essentially looked like this:

Anyway. On a diet related note, I've been eating healthy, which I'm really proud of considering how icky I feel. It's tough to get up and cook a meal when you are slowly being killed by a mucus blob. But, I've done it, and I'm glad to say that my calorie counts have been right on target the past few days. YAY!

So, if anyone has some suggestions on a good HEALTHY homemade chicken noodle soup or an insanely fast cure for a killer cold, please feel free to share!